I need some help....?

I'm very much still in love with my ex. We lived together for 7 months and it was great. I overlooked and tried to help with his shortcomings (ie Alcoholism) but he came home one blustery day in January and hated me for some reason. Told me to pack my things and move out because he didn't love me anymore. I've since moved into my own place but not without the cost of developing my own drug and alcohol problem and severe, SEVERE depression. I'm manic depressive and bipolar anyway but this has exacerbated the problem. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Wondering what he's doing, who he's with, if he's safe, etc. Because of his Alcoholism, I used to take care of him (make sure he got home from the bar safely, get him into bed, make sure his things were ready for work the next day, alarm was set, etc.) and I know it wasn't my responsibility to do so but I did it because I love him. My real problem is that I'm still so hung up on him. How long before these wounds heal? I want so badly for him to hurt like I hurt, for him to know how badly he's affected me. But I'm not sure he'd care unless those things are served in a shot gl. Nevertheless I still love him and I want to know what it's going to take to get over it. I've been banned from my favourite bar because I saw him there with another girl and he played OUR song on the jukebox and started dancing with her and kissing her. (Whenever we were in public and I tried to do so much as hold his hand, he'd freak and tell me he's "not into PDA") I got banned because I was upset and went into the bathroom and did some stupid stuff and came out but there was blood dripping out of my sleeve. I won't say anything more than taht because I don't do it for attention as I'm not "emo". What can I do that will help? The drugs and alcohol haven't thus far.